I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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