I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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