Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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