You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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