i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
