We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
