Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
