Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i've created a new STD.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
