oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
