3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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