A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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