i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
