your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
