even my farts smell like vagina
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
