giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
