mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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