Whod you bang
I faked an abortion last night.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
