There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
