I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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