The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
