I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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