im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
