I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
