just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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