porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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