Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
