Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
