I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
