I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
