HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
