I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
