Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Found the puke drawer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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