she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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