so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
