drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
