Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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