The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her facebook's as public as her vagina
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
