Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
