he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
