based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
