I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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