You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
