What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
