hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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