My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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