How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize