We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
