we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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