there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
