We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
