Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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